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Tuesday, July 02, 2013

Time to start sending used tampons to the government
Posted by Jill | 6:02 AM
Today's Republican Party is the living embodiment of what happens when you do not provide sex education to children. From the idea that women won't know what a pregnancy is unless an elderly male politician rapes them by proxy with an ultrasound wand to conservative women believing that a rape kit is a kind of uterine Drano, the ignorance is simple human reproduction on the right is simply appalling. The problem is that now their ignorance is extending to the people they represent when they are in government.

Ohio's new anti-abortion law bestows full personhood on a fertilized egg that has not yet implanted. Clearly the Republicans in Ohio's legislature who passed this travesty haven't got a clue about how pregnancy occurs. There is no pregnancy until the egg implants into the uterine wall, because up to half of all fertilized eggs never implant. There are many reasons for this, some of them having to do with the effects of the Pill and the IUD (which would under Ohio law become instruments of murder in a way that a gun, for some reason, is not), and some having to do with just plain nature -- God's will, if you prefer.

Some of the women whose fertilized eggs never implant in the uterus know about it -- because the egg implants in the fallopian tube instead. Ohio's law would have the perhaps unintended effect of making removal of an ectopic pregnancy a crime of murder, even though an ectopic pregnancy can never become a baby. I guess the dirty whore should have kept her legs closed or God wouldn't have punished her with an ectopic pregnancy -- or something; I have no idea how these people's minds work. But most women don't even know that there is a fertilized egg, because it passes out of her with her normal menstrual period.

So there's just one thing to do, ladies of Ohio: Start sending your used tampons and other sanitary products to John Kasich. Tell him that under Ohio law you are simply complying with the law that makes every fertilized egg a person and you want to make sure you do the right thing. You may end up in jail, but you can take comfort in knowing that confession of your crime is good for the soul.

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4 Comments:
Anonymous Syrbal/Labrys said...
I was going to type a comment, but realized I don't know how you feel about serious levels of weapons grade profanity. I'll settle for suggesting the Ohio State song be changed to the "Every Sperm is Sacred" song.
7/2/13, 11:38 AM  
Anonymous Anonymous said...
The sending tampons is a great idea. Hope someone organizes and makes it a reality.
7/4/13, 9:30 AM  
Blogger Glen Tomkins said...
The only way to avoid murder charges in OH now is to confine your sexual activities to acts that cannot possibly result in fertilization. Becoming pregnant is now proof of mass murder, because sex that results in pregnancy does so at the expense of the serial killing of many fertilized eggs that failed to implant successfully.
7/4/13, 11:43 AM  
Anonymous Anonymous said...
I was just speaking to an investment banker from Ohio yesterday. I was asking how is it that Ohio is such a "strong red state". He and his partner explained to me that the state is really spit evenly between Reps. and Dems. and that is why the elections are so intense. The Reps. are mostly in control now.
The investment banker said but that their Republican party was sane and not crazy extreme.
I kept my thoughts to myself not believing a word of it.
Also wanted to note that when I expressed given the number of larger cities in OH. I thought the Dems. would be doing better. He agreed with me that many urban areas tend to trend blue but he explained it as "because everyone there is on the dole".
They were on a shopping spree that including items like Jimmy Choo shoes, laughing that someone has to support the economy.

Nice work if you can get it, and you can get it if you lie!
7/4/13, 1:02 PM  
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